nothing is ever finished forever

i am someone that wants a lot of things, and inadvertently i am never satisfied because of that. i always want better grades, better luck, better whatever. i always think that other people don't try hard enough to get what they want and complain about how their life sucks.

but i am slowly coming to realize that that mindset has always been externally instilled, that that may not be the person that i really am. 2009 is a standalone year of personal discoveries. i'm starting to admit that maybe, not everything has to be under control all the time. maybe sometimes FML is really true, and there is some merit to the website.

such as is this one:

Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML

This time last year in 2008, I was thinner, but sadder and poorer. life is not about perfection like one of those diamond things that people have in online games as their character stats AGI/STR/DEX, which they strive to completely fill up. but even in a game, it isn't possible. in the game, the key to create a character to win your opponent is in balancing up the different stats. such is true in real life. but the me that thinks like that is not the me i am now. life is to be lived and not played. muse but don't analyse.

i could be studying now, there are people that are studying now. i have been told to study now. but for now i'll just peruse the beautiful destinations on the STA website and dream about visiting them all and watch badminton videos. not studying now is not a crime, i need to achieve, but not to achieve perfection.

(i never play online games god knows where all these gaming references come from)

kthxbye